There is nothing more awkward than being in a taxi just covered with a cloud of silence. The taxi driver does not have any music playing in the background and the passengers could not be bothered with engaging in some trivial small-talk. But honestly, what is even worse is being excluded from the taxi picnic. The taxi picnic is a very special event that occurs without any prior notice. Invitations are not sent out and there is no arrangements done. Before the lovely event begins, the passengers make a few last minute stops for some snacks and other things. Once that is done and out of the way, they make their way to the taxi. The taxi conductor slams the door shut, windows are closed and let the taxi picnic is about to commence.
The taxi becomes suddenly is filled with a combination of sweet and sour aromas. They can either make your mouth salivate or you can be prompted to open the window as you would be simply too overwhelmed. Leading the taxi picnic is one of the taxi mamas. She has a full three course meal safely tucked in her oversized handbag. For starters she nibbles on some Cheetos, and then tosses the packet out the window. She digs in her bag of tricks and takes out some KFC. It is still warm and the smell even distracts the taxi driver. Once she has devoured that, she throws that out of the window too. As for desserts she gobbles up some fruit yoghurt that was also in some compartment of her bag. She lets out a loud burp in utter euphoria she leans back on her seat. She makes sure there is no evidence left before she reaches her destination. She will lie to her children who have made boiled cabbage for supper and tell them that “nginenhliziyo emnyama akudleki – I simply do not have an appetite.”
There are those passengers who pretend not to be fanatics of the taxi picnic. But one by one they slowly take out their food items. Some shyly eat and try not to make any eye contact, whereas there are others who even share amongst each other. Even the taxi conductor joins in and takes out a warm mealie that he bought minutes before getting in the taxi. Like any event, there is always a master of ceremony. For today’s taxi picnic the master of ceremony is one of the township drunks. He may have not have any food on him, but the alcohol running through his whole body is enough to keep him going. He dishes out advice and stories and he projects his voice as audible as possible.
It indeed a beautiful festivity; filled with contrasting smells and tastes, dirty stories told by the drunk taxi baba and smiles all around. Well, almost everybody is glee – the one guest who never seems to make it on the guest list, is our taxi driver. He never has the opportunity to participate in the taxi picnic. Well, his hands are tied and he has no choice but to accept that he shall remain excluded from the taxi picnic.